


Flowers and Autumn

by jaehwaniee



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, But I hope you enjoy, Hanahaki Disease, I dont actually know, M/M, Minhyun POV, Nielhwan, One-Sided Love, all of them are same aged, minhwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:20:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14826062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehwaniee/pseuds/jaehwaniee
Summary: Minhyun’s love started with flowers, and sadly, ended with it too.





	Flowers and Autumn

**Author's Note:**

> I see minhwan fanfics mostly in jaehwan pov so I figured that what if I make a minhyun pov? And it’s always cold minhyun or weak jaehwan so I tried to personify minhyun as sentimental (irl, he really is sentimental hah aft. Hwangtimental) or emotional.  
> Anyway, I made this for about three days (on and off) so there will be errors but I hope you enjoy! Love love!  
> UNEDITED

For Minhyun, flowers are like his own oxygen, he would not be able to live without them. It's like blood, they run in his veins and without them, he would not be able to function well. Not all metaphors would be able to describe his love for flowers— it's that complicated but well you get the point.

He just loves to bask his eyes to the vibrancy of these creations and the scent they expel that linger on his nose; and he's not complaining— the view actually cure his eyes from the monotone of life and the aroma lift his tiredness from the endless cycle of their boring life as students.

He's an aesthete, and flowers are the number one in his list. He loves every kind of flowers but he favors red freesias the most. He just loves the stunning ombré of yellow and red on the perfectly sculpted petals along the stem of what seems like a life cycle of the flower, from a small bulb into full bloom, arranged consecutively.

His mother was a flower enthusiast as well and you can say she's to blame. She loved flowers so much that she made their father build a garden on their house's façade, packed with different kinds of flowers, mostly colored yellow. Obviously, Yellow was her favorite color so the color was everywhere in their home.

At first, Minhyun never really understood his mother's love for these flowers. They won't be around for any longer, right? Their time is just ephemeral, so why would one be attached so much like his mother did? Flowers are temporary creations made to be displayed; this was how he viewed flowers before.

One time, his mother was articulating the majesty of the flowers to Minhyun, how they bring life, how they bring hope to the bearer. That even if their time here is short, in that moment, they know they brought happiness to those around them. With their ethereal beauty, even if it's fleeting, they know they were loved.

Minhyun learned this the hard way. His mother was like a flower, she was beautiful but she didn’t live long. That same day, in a haze, his mother was brought to the hospital. She had a heart attack while tending the flowers she newly planted on the left wing of the garden. Minhyun was the first to see her, and he went into hysterics. Crying, his mother cupped his face and calmed the boy down.

"Honey, don't cry. You know I'll be sad when you cry, right?" his mother hushed him. Minhyun nods, trying to stabilize his breaths.

"Minhyun, when you get back home, can you bring out the seedling from the cupboard beside my bed. I want you to plant it and make it live, okay?" she wipes the stray tears off of Minhyun cheeks using her thumb. "That's my gift for you, okay?"

That same time, she heaved her last breath. Minhyun didn't cry, he was more excited about having his own mission. Immediately, he planted the seedling and over time, it grew and grew until a red bud bloomed into a beautiful red Freesia flower.

That made Minhyun love flowers as well. The adrenaline he felt while taking care of his first plant was overwhelming, but the feeling stayed with him. Now, not only does he appreciate the flower itself, but also the dedication of the one who took care of them to bloom this beautifully.

So when he coughs out a blood red freesia petal, he knows he's doomed.

* * *

 

It started like this,

Walking from school after their dismissal, like a routine, Minhyun decided to visit the flower shop situated adjacent to his dorm. It was the peak of Spring so the shop was full of full-bloomed flowers: Dahlia, Roses, Freesias, and Tulips; name it and it should be there.

The shop is owned by an old lady he got to know as Mrs. Kim, a widow who sells flowers from the garden she nurtured together with her husband before. Because he frequently visited there, Minhyun often chatted with her, and he got to hear some stories as well. She told him that their love started with flowers and ended with it too. When her husband died, flowers were the only things that made her forget that her other half was gone, but she knew she wouldn’t last long any longer too so she decided to sell the flowers she loved.

Nearing the shop, Minhyun couldn’t help but wonder when he’d be able to love like how Mrs. Kim did. Centered about the very thing he loves most, flowers.

Like an answer, Minhyun literally froze as he saw a flower god in the flower shop.

The man was holding a sunflower seedling (even from a far, he knew, he was that obsessed). He was wearing a red apron, shoving a trowel into a medium-sized clay pot. Minhyun assumed that he was planting the sunflower. Minhyun couldn’t help but gasp at the man, whose pale, lean biceps demanding the attention of everyone to see. He was a little sinewy but frailer, much to Minhyun’s type (or maybe because it’s the man?). This might seem cliché but the man literally shined when he started laughing, his cackles started to become a staccato tattoo in Minhyun’s head, making Minhyun halt. He was iridescent, with what seemed like fireworks lighting up from behind him.

Minhyun felt his heartbeat pace; he hasn’t felt this way in a long time. He felt every kind of tingle in every part of his body that he begun to feel lightheaded.

Then, in that same moment, a butterfly decided to grace the moment, taking a slack-jawed Minhyun into a more intense attraction. The pale man, shining milky, gazed upon the butterfly with much fondness and softness that Minhyun felt himself fall into the pits of the man’s charms. He was ethereal, to the point where the butterfly was put into shame.

Minhyun is screwed, so screwed.

* * *

 

So how did Minhyun approach the man?

It started like this,

While Minhyun was under an intense reverie, attacked by the sudden clobbering charms that exploded a myriad of butterflies in Minhyun’s stomach, and possibly injecting an entire universe into his two orbs, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Frightened, Minhyun jumped and gasped so much that he fell in his bottom. Angry, Minhyun scanned his surroundings to find the culprit, only to see the beautiful man chuckling beside him.

“Why did you do that for?” Minhyun huffed, trying to act angry, but he appeared like a baby fox pouting with furrowed brows. He stood up and wiped the dirt from his trousers away. The man looked astounded for a second, but he replied with a short chuckle.

“I wanted to ask what you are doing there standing frozen, or something. You’re, uh, blocking me from getting my tools,” the man said. Minhyun widened his eyes and muttered a short apology, slightly turning his back and planning to get away, much to his chagrin.

“Hey, wait. Anyway, what are you doing here?” the man asked.

“Ah, I wanted to visit the shop to help Mrs. Kim but I remembered that I have something to do today,” Minhyun answered, obviously lying because of his wavering eyes. Yet again, the man laughs, this time, while clutching his stomach. _Why is he so cute?_

“Why do you laugh so much? It’s not funny,” Minhyun crossed his arms, looking sideways, opting to hide the blush that was still not going away.

“Oh, nothing… I’m Jaehwan by the way,” he offered his hands. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Minhyun. I live close by,” Minhyun shook his hands with Jaehwan, the action sending jolts of electricity in the former’s body, sending tingles on his joints a little.

“You know Grandma?”

“Ah, she’s your Grandma? Yes, I help her tend off some weeds when I am free,” Minhyun muttered. “Anyway, are you planting some sunflowers?”

“Ah, yes, yes, but you see, I clearly do not know how,” Jaehwan brushed his nape and smiled shyly. “You help in this shop right? Do you know how to?”

Minhyun was never cocky but he couldn’t help but boast, “Of course, I know how. Give me the trowel.”

Jaehwan watched Minhyun dig a small hole but big enough for the seedling to be planted. Minhyun appeared to be dexterous, especially because of his long exposure to this kind of work. As Minhyun taught Jaehwan some gardening tips, they also chat.

The sun slowly set while the two boys conversed with topics ranging from different things, gardening to flowers to personal lives to space and to everything in between. Minhyun immediately felt close to Jaehwan and maybe the latter also had, seeing the  smile but also curious eyes as Minhyun spoke, and vice versa.

Minhyun has never felt this close with anyone before, let alone with someone he just met. Maybe his family, and to Mrs. Kim, but not with anyone with the same age as him, but change is certainly inevitable. As the two boys chat, oblivious to the sands that fell faster than usual, they couldn’t help but be drawn to each other.

That night, Minhyun couldn’t get Jaehwan off of his mind. He should be doing his assignments, but Minhyun wouldn’t go away from his thoughts. He was so lovely, he spoke so softly, and he laughs so cutely. Minhyun hasn’t felt these feelings before; giddiness, fervent anticipation, and indescribable hope for something Minhyun couldn’t pinpoint.

Before he knew it, he’s falling, falling deeper on the abyss of something foreign that Minhyun himself didn’t know; but no one was waiting down below.

* * *

 

So how did Minhyun realize he’s in love?

It started like this,

Minhyun was looking at the clock, waiting for their dismissal so that he can go to the flower shop. As the bell rung, Minhyun sprung from his seat and dashed off towards the shop. Giddy, he didn’t understand himself why. Maybe because uh, it’s cleaning time? It was nearing autumn so, uh, yeah?

He was walking faster than usual, and still, he asked himself, _why?_ Then Minhyun abruptly stopped. _Why am I excited? Why am I ecstatic?_

He tilted his head, trying to dig deeper inside his brain for the possible reasons why he was being like that. While incredulously berating himself for being clueless of his own actions, he arrived at the shop with little steps.

After a whole minute of pondering, he shooed the thoughts away and just went inside to meet Jaehwan—wait! _Meet Jaehwan? What?!_

Then it dawned in him. _I was excited to meet Jaehwan?! W-What?! Why?! Huh?!_

Why was he excited to meet the boy? They didn’t plan something for the day nor decided to do something together. What was the deal? Why was he ecstatic? He’s never really a fan of human interactions so why?

He chortled. _Never mind. It’s because he’s my friend… right?_

He tried to busy himself by observing the flowers on his right. He looked at the red Freesia. _Oh._ He remembered his mother. He remembered his first meaningful encounter with flowers. He remembered everything. Reminiscing the past made Minhyun look down. He was never good at controlling his emotions so he felt kind of down from the surprise throwback. His countenance tweaked a little of his current emotion, making him feel dejected, again.

“Minhyun, are you sad?” Jaehwan asked from behind.

“Jaehwan!” in a snap, Jihoon turned his frown upside down and greeted Jaehwan with an (overly) cheerful smile—wait! _What is this? Why did I feel content? What? Why?_

For the nth time, Minhyun stopped. He was feeling weird that day. But why?

The sudden swift of emotion must have worried Jaehwan so he stepped closer and held Minhyun’s shoulders with a soft yet firm grip.

The contact sent shivers down Minhyun’s spine, and that’s it! Like a giant piano falling down from a 100 floor building onto him, his heart dropped with the sudden realization that he liked Jaehwan.

That explained his giddiness. That explained his excitement to go to the flower shop. That explained why he cheered up almost instantly with the sight of Jaehwan.

And with that, Minhyun ran away, leaving a confused Jaehwan behind.

* * *

 

The next day, after a night full of many thoughts here and there, Minhyun decided to apologize for his behavior in front of Jaehwan. He also decided to tell him that he won’t be coming for the meantime, since school was getting hectic.

It was an alibi, of course. He can’t like Jaehwan. Why? He himself didn’t know as well. But he _shouldn’t_ like Jaehwan. So, he figured that to solve the problem, he should be out of sight, to be out of mind.

Jaehwan did accept the apology, saying that there’s nothing to apologize, that he was just a boy going through puberty, which appalled Minhyun quite a bit. When Minhyun said the second, Jaehwan understood and actually rooted for him and gave him a cute _hwaiting!_ that almost combusted Minhyun.

The next couple of days, Minhyun never went into the flower shop. Actually, he spent his free time killing time at the library until he knew the shop should be closed by the time he goes out.

These couple of days without Jaehwan actually never helped. He felt like there was this small hole in his heart, a _Jaehwan-shaped_ hole but Minhyun would never admit that. He felt as if his days wouldn’t be complete without a sight from the boy, and he started feeling hollow.

The feelings he tried to kill became the opposite. It grew and grew until it ate Minhyun whole. The raw emotions started to suffocate him, like he was under a raging waterfall, like he was at an endless rollercoaster; it made Minhyun breathless and he couldn’t contain it anymore.

So he decided to tell Jaehwan about his feelings, because in this way, he could somehow breathe a little. Even with rejection, it would be fine, as long as it would go away.

But, hey, wrong move.

* * *

 

So how did Jaehwan broke his heart?

It started like this,

With several nights of thinking, Minhyun decided to man up and directly tell his feelings to Jaehwan. He was ready to be rejected, or so he thinks.

Slowly walking from the pavement towards the shop, Minhyun ran a lot of scenarios in his head. He rehearsed his lines and some of the possible ways to flee after the confession. Minhyun mustered a lot of his courage in order to confess the best way possible without being embarrassed.

Yet, when he was about to, he saw a man who was built with wide shoulders, contrary to his friendly smile, probably their age, giving Jaehwan a bouquet of flowers with a hideous arrangement; he halted and hid at the back of a tree, away from the sight of the _main characters._

Jaehwan accepted the flowers and with a huge smile, muttered something that made the boy scoop him in his arms while chanting something Minhyun heard as _boyfriend._ Then he saw the Jaehwan cup the boy in his face and gazed upon the boy with the softest look Minhyun saw in Jaehwan in their first meeting.

There seemed to be fireworks around them but inside Minhyun, bombs exploded and he felt his body react frigid to the explosions. Like a torrent in an intense downpour, his tears cascaded, drizzling his face with warmth he didn’t need.

He just wanted to love, but why did it hurt this bad?

* * *

 

That night, Minhyun couldn’t help but feel emotional at the scene he unfortunately watched with his own two eyes. He remembered how happy Jaehwan was.

Don’t get him wrong, Minhyun was happy for Jaehwan. As long as Jaehwan was happy, he’s happy.

Minhyun decided to cry his eyes out for the last time because after that, he’s going to move on. He’s going to discard his feelings for the boy so that he’d be able to move on too.

But well, it never worked that way.

* * *

 

For consecutive days, Minhyun tried to muster enough courage to get inside the shop, to help or just simply smell the flowers’ aroma, but every time, he couldn’t help but have this sinking feeling in the pits of his lungs, like he was being choked or deprived of air. Every time, he faltered and stepped back, unable to handle the pain.

Over time, as he tried to enter the shop, a prickling feeling rose inside his lungs, like needles exploded inside him and yet, he never bat an eye, thinking he was just hungry or thirsty.

While he was sitting on a pavement fifty steps away from the shop, playing with the rocks beneath his feet, a voice killed the silence he was in.

“Minhyun? What are you doing here?” Minhyun looked up and saw Mrs. Kim holding some paper bags.

“Oh, hi Mrs. Kim. I… I was just thinking about something,” Minhyun smiled sheepishly, brushing his nape with his left hand.

“Come inside. I haven’t seen you in so long. I want to chat,” Mrs. Kim laughed and gestured Minhyun to follow her. Minhyun followed closely behind while getting the paper bags from her hands, trying to help.

“I know you’re busy in school and stuff but I missed you.”—Minhyun shyly laughed-“I missed talking to you about flowers and gardening. Jaehwan doesn’t know a thing,” she said, grimacing as she told the last part of her sentence.

“Ah, uh, I was getting behind. But I’m not so busy now,” stated Minhyun. They were getting close at the shop.

They stopped right in front of the door, with Minhyun feeling the same pain again on his stomach.

“Uhm, I should, uh, go,” Minhyun said, breathing heavily from the sudden lack of air around him.

“Uhm, I’d like to chat with you again. You’re not busy right? That’s what you said. Let’s chat for a little while with tea,” Mrs. Kim pleaded. Since Minhyun is a naturally kind-hearted kid and Mrs. Kim was one of his close friends, he couldn’t refuse.

This was why he found himself sitting on the table near the counter, coughing in irregular intervals, clutching his heart.

He tried to drink water, only to alleviate the pain by 0.1 percent.

Mrs. Kim, after a while, came back with a tray at hand. As she placed the tray down, she looked at Minhyun, now pale and looking distressed.

“Hey, are you okay?” she placed her hand on his forehead. Minhyun’s forehead was not that hot, but there was a tinge of warmth.

“I—“ Minhyun was cut off with a ring on the door, signaling that someone entered. They both looked through the direction, only to see Jaehwan and the guy entering while laughing about something, the former clutching the latter’s arm tight.

With this, Minhyun’s raging coughing became more prominent, the intervals getting shorter. He felt needles wage war inside his lungs, but he didn’t know why.

As they came closer, Minhyun’s eyes already started to perspire, and as the calls of Mrs. Kim slowly muffled, he couldn’t take his eyes away from the two oblivious boys immersed in their own world.

His throat hurt from the continuous barfing of what seemed like solid air, and as Jaehwan and him looked at each other, like an alarm, he stood up and ran away from there as soon as possible while covering his mouth with his hands.

He coughed and coughed as he sprinted away from the shop while hot tears dripped slowly.

And he stopped. He stopped when he felt something solid yet soft on his hand. He looked at it, wondering where it could have appeared. And then he slumped on the floor, eyes still trained on the thing on his hands until he realized.

A petal of a blood red Freesia flower,

on his hand,

from his mouth.

Shit.

* * *

 

While still coughing petals in weird interval, Minhyun opened his laptop to search for whatever was happening to him.

_What is happening when a flower petal comes out from my mouth?_

Many sites appeared but all were saying the same thing:

_One-sided love_

_Shit!_ Minhyun frantically searched for whatever cure can save him. While hollowness started to fill his stomach, while many negative thoughts started to barrage his mind, he scurried to scroll and scroll, hoping to find something different from what they all said:

_Return of romantic interest or surgery_

Minhyun slowly sit dejected, knowing full well that he couldn’t do those.

First off, Jaehwan would never fall in love with him. He had the guy already and he looked so happy with him.

He couldn’t get a surgery either. It’s expensive and he’s a broke student.

Yet, he hoped. He hoped that maybe a little speck of romantic love could blossom in Jaehwan. He hoped that Jaehwan could love him back.

He sighed. What’s the use? Even if Jaehwan was to love him, it will never suffice. It will never cure him.

But he tried.

* * *

 

He entered the shop while holding a paper bag (something to put the petals to, discreetly), to apologize to Mrs. Kim.

“I’m sorry for yesterday. I was just sick and I needed to vomit, I’m sorry,” he apologized. Thankfully, Mrs. Kim understood, asking the boy how he’s feeling now.

They chatted for a while, until Jaehwan enters from the back door, yawning while stretching. He must have napped. His hair was all over the place and Minhyun couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hey! How are you?” Jaehwan hurridly went closer to Minhyun. “Are you sick? Are you fine?” he touched Minhyun’s shoulder with a firm grip and his eyes roamed around Minhyun’s face.

The contact made Minhyun blush, until a feeling on his lungs started to appear again. He gestured an ‘I’m okay’ sign.

“Uhm, I’m just going to cought outside for a bit,” he said and discreetly coughed the flower petal onto the bag.

“Uhm, Jaehwan, can I talk to you outside?” Minhyun asked with a small voice, walking towards the door. He was still not sure, but he figured he needed the boy to know.

“Oh, sure. Wait, I’m just gonna grab my coat for a bit.” He stated as he went back inside. It was nearing autumn so the air started to get chilly.

He waited outside, thinking of possible ways to confess. This time, even with interferences or what circumstances could be happening, he’ll continue.

Still discreetly placing the petals he coughed into the bag, he heard Jaehwan open the door. When he looked, Daniel was with him, with his bag while walking with Jaehwan. _Oh. He must have slept here._

“—Minhyun was going to tell me something so wait for me,” Jaehwan told the boy and the latter muttered an okay.

Looking at the two boys made Minhyun’s heart clench a little. But he’s not going to falter so instead, he stood straight and faced Jaehwan with determination.

“So, uh, what were you gonna say?” Jaehwan asked.

“Jaehwan, uhm,” Minhyun looked at the floor. “I… I like you—no, I love you.”

Minhyun refused to look at Jaehwan. He was afraid for rejection, even if he knew he’d be rejected.

A few seconds of silence passed by them, prompting Minhyun to look up. His heart was beating too fast and his lungs are acting up again.

“Minhyun,” Jaehwan spoke but Minhyun was not looking at him, he was looking where Jaehwan wasn’t. He’s afraid, afraid that when looked at Jaehwan’s eyes, he’d burst.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” Jaehwan finally said. “I can’t give back your feelings. I… Daniel and I are already dating. I’m sorry.”

“No… No, it’s okay. It’s fine, totally great,” Minhyun said as he saw the surroundings blur. Tears started to flow while his lungs started to palpitate. They palpitated too hard that Minhyun felt his body weaken, until his legs gave out. He coughed so much that continuous petals drip from his mouth.

“Minhyun! Hey! What’s happening to you?!” Jaehwan catched Minhyun. “Daniel! Call an ambulance!”

“I—It hurts. It hurts. I’m—“ Minhyun felt motion stop. He heard his heart beats loud and clear, deafening Minhyun’s ears, but he couldn’t do anything. His body felt heavier while petals still move away from his mouth.

“J-Jaehwan. I’m sorry,” he said. Then sounds were gone. In a haze, Minhyun looked above to see blurred dried leaves fall from the trees. As he felt several hands from all over his body, he saw a red Freesia flower clearly. It was beautiful, but signs of brown and black were perceptible. And then it fell on the floor, while a foot stepped on it.

_Ah. It’s autumn._

* * *

 

He lied in a supine position, with handfuls of petals right beside him. He palmed some and raised them in front of him, as some fell on his face. He looked at them with a sad gaze but he couldn’t do anything.

Flowers are very beautiful. The symmetry, the vibrancy, the delicateness of these creations certainly mesmerizes those who feel and appreciate them. The soft glow and the radiant aura they possess give the eyes a warm view to cleanse.

Minhyun loves flowers. He doesn’t regret loving flowers as much as he thought he would have. He doesn’t regret using too much of his time appreciating, tending, and raising flowers to be exquisite and perfect. He doesn’t regret loving flowers.

Just like Mrs. Kim’s story, Minhyun’s love started with flowers, and sadly, ended with it too.

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, what do you think?? I know I suck but thank you for reading!!


End file.
